


Yo Ho

by gaygreekgladiator (ama)



Category: Spartacus Series (TV), Spartacus: War of the Damned
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 13:25:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ama/pseuds/gaygreekgladiator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castus asks Nasir to homecoming, in the most ridiculous way he can possibly think of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yo Ho

**Author's Note:**

> I had to get this out there before Castus's first episode aired. I can't help it... I might not ship them for the rest of the show, but I will never regret writing this fic.

“Under the Sea, Nasir? Really?” Castus groaned, leaning against the row of lockers as he glared at the low-hanging banner. It was blue and sparkly with some green blotches that looked vaguely like seaweed at either end. “Couldn’t you have exerted your influence a bit and, you know… stopped this?”

Nasir rolled his eyes and reached out to intertwine their fingers. They meandered through the crowded hallway slowly. Castus, at least, was aware that this was the only 2.5 minutes they’d have alone all day; he wanted to make it last.

“Laeta has a thing for _The Little Mermaid_. Everyone’s really excited about it.”

“By which you mean, ‘Everyone’s going to enjoy watching her try to catch Spartacus’s eye in a sparkly green dress and seashell bra.’ She still has no chance. Mira or Sura have really been upping their games lately.”

Nasir laughed in that half-embarrassed way he did whenever anyone said something both true and scandalous. Castus grinned to himself and squeezed his hand.

“Even if that were true—and I won’t say it is—who cares? One theme is as good as any other, isn’t it?”

“No no no. I can tell you exactly what this theme will entail: cheap pirate hats, bikinis, hula skirts, and half a dozen songs from The Little Mermaid to interrupt the awful Top 40s soundtrack. Don’t you laugh at me, Mr. Najjar, because you _know_ it’s true.”

“I know you’re a snob.”

Castus laughed loudly and pulled Nasir aside to a small pocket of calm, right beside the door to his biology classroom, to press a kiss to his cheek. The PDA was a very new development for them; he was immensely pleased with it, but Nasir was still hesitant sometimes.

“Am I really a snob for thinking that there is only one possible way to make this stupid homecoming worthwhile?” he asked in a light voice. A smile played at the corner of Nasir’s lips.

“And what is that?”

“You.”

Nasir rolled his eyes.

“I should have seen that coming.”

“Yes, you absolutely should have. So, we’re going together, right?”

To his surprise, Nasir fidgeted uncomfortably before answering.

“Sorry,” he said apologetically. “But… Chadara’s dateless, so I kind of promised to, you know, be her arm candy. It’s just, I didn’t think you would be interested.”

“Oh,” Castus said. He reigned in his disappointment with a casual shrug. “That’s fine. You do that—just save the last dance for me, all right? And the first. And maybe a few in the middle.”

Nasir’s distress melted away into a smile. He squeezed Castus’s fingers tighter for a brief moment, then said goodbye and disappeared in his classroom just as the bell rang. Technically, Castus should be in gym right now, but he couldn’t muster up the energy to rush. He walked thoughtfully through the emptying hallways, reflecting on Nasir’s words.

-

The school’s Pride Alliance served two purposes: one, to participate in events like the Day of Silence, National Coming Out Day, etc, etc; and two, to provide the queer students with an opportunity  to bitch about whatever caught their fancy, plan exclusive parties, and seek relationship advice on the rare opportunity that their significant other was not present. So it seemed the natural thing to do that afternoon while Nasir had photography club, despite the fact that his ex (as well as a fair handful of Castus’s, plus two or three of Nasir’s closest friends) was there.

“I think Nasir might be mad at me,” he announced as soon as it was collectively agreed that Auctus and Duro had absolutely zero chance of winning any kind of cutest couple superlative while Barca and Pietros were also in the running.

“He hasn’t said anything to me,” Chadara said with a frown. “What makes you think so?”

“My boyfriend is going to homecoming with you. Does that not strike you as strange?”

“We thought you weren’t going to come at all. He didn’t seem angry when I talked with him.”

“It wasn’t really—I don’t know, he did really _look_ mad, it was just this vague kind of feeling.”

He relayed their conversation from that morning, and there was a long pause as everyone mulled it over.

“He’s not mad at you…” Pietros said slowly.

“But he should be,” Barca finished. Out of any couple here, they had been together the longest—it was kind of scary when they managed to pull off that couple-hive-mind shit.

“Why?” he demanded. It was Barca who answered, with an insolent shrug; Pietros was too nice.

“Do you really think Nasir joined the homecoming committee because he thinks school dances are tacky and pointless? Some people think they’re fun and want to make them look good, even if you don’t think so. And you do this _so much_. ‘This is so obnoxious, so barbaric, so dull.’ Seriously, sometimes _I_ want to punch you for it, and I don’t have to listen.”

“Oh yeah,” Saxa piped up. Somehow she had managed to drape herself over the arms of her cheap plastic chair; Castus had no idea how she was staying up, but it was even more intimidating than Saxa usually was. She looked like a feral, lazy cat. “I want to punch you all the time.”

“Seconded,” Agron muttered, who had no longer hated Castus with every fiber of his being, but still couldn’t resist taking pot shots whenever the opportunity arose. Castus ignored him.

“You want to punch _everyone_ all the time,” he said to Saxa. She grinned.

“Besides,” Duro said, still looking disgruntled that Pietros had been deemed more adorable than him. “The whole _point_ of homecoming is that you’re supposed to go really over-the-top and stupid when you invite someone. If you just go right ahead and ask, it’s boring—it’s low-grade prom. So you should ask him again. Just, you know, stupidly and embarrassingly and in front of lots of people.”

Castus glared at him, and then at his more reasonable boyfriend, who should have been able to reign him in, every once in a while.

“It’s true,” Auctus said. “I _literally_ did handstands last year. It’s a tradition.”

Chadara cleared her throat, and Castus looked at her. He was hoping that Chadara would be able to interject some sanity into this conversation, but her expression was distinctly uncomfortable, and he felt a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach.

“I am… not saying this, okay? Because I was told things in confidence and I would never, ever break them. Never. But… Nasir is sort of under the impression right now that he comes—well, second to your reputation. Or, he fits because he makes you look good, or whatever, or just—in general, that you’re not really serious about him. Which he’s fine with, because, you know, we’re in high school and there’s no rush to find your soul mate, but yeah. If you are serious, you should probably do something to make it apparent. Right now.”

The words were like a punch to the gut. From the first moment he had seen Nasir, he had felt… something. Not love, definitely not, but… attraction. Fascination. An overwhelming need to see him smile. He had thought that was just so _obvious_. Every other word out of his mouth was an attempt to make Nasir laugh, and the PDA wasn’t born of a desire to show his boyfriend off—it was because the barest brush of his skin against Nasir’s made his nerves spark. God. How could _anyone_ not see that?

“We’ve been dating for four months,” he protested. “We see each other almost every day! How could he think that?”

“Lots of guys can talk the talk,” Diona pointed out. “You do a lot of talking and not a lot of walking, as far as I can tell.”

“Okay,” Castus said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “So what you’re saying that the only way I can really convince Nasir that I’m not just going to throw him away is by making the biggest idiot of myself in front of the most people as I possibly can?”

“OH!” Everyone turned to look at Agron, who was suddenly beaming. “Holy shit, I have the _best fucking idea_.”

“No,” Castus said automatically.

“Oh come on! Listen, just because I didn’t want you to get together with Nasir in the first place doesn’t mean I’d try to fuck you over now. The first thing makes me human—the second would make me a fucking asshole. But seriously, I know how you can ask him out again.”

“How?” Duro asked, puzzled. Agron turned to him, still grinning broadly.

“Is this world strange.”

There was a pause, in which Castus thought over the words and could make neither head nor tail of them, and then Duro burst out laughing.

“Yes. _Yes_. Fuck yes. I’ll help. We all have to help. This is going to be _awesome_.”

“’This’ isn’t going to happen unless I know what it is,” Castus said, irritated. It was bad enough that he had to deal with the couples-telepathy thing without getting into the Brothers Terrible, too.

“Do you know how to play the ukulele?”

-

Castus readjusted his bandana and tried to ignore the ridiculously fast pace of his heart. He could not believe he was doing this. Seriously. He might actually just collapse the second he walked through the cafeteria doors, and it would be all Duro’s fault. And Agron’s, of course. Mostly Duro’s, though. Agron had come up with the idea, but Duro was the expert in making everyone around him look ridiculous.

Agron, Diona, and Chadara—his backup singers—were the only ones with him, while Saxa, Duro, and Auctus—backup guitar, piccolo, and drums, respectively—were at the other entrance. Barca and Pietros had managed to weasel their way out of this somehow, and were sitting with Nasir and Naevia and the rest of their friends in the caf.

“How’re you doing, sailor?” Agron asked with a wide grin, clapping him on the back. “Are the mics fixed?”

“I have never hated you more. And yeah, they’re fine.”

Agron laughed loudly and readjusted his wide-brimmed hat. With the hat, the jacket, the eye patch, and the parrot on his shoulder, Agron looked like even more of a pirate than Castus, who had only managed to scrounge up a striped shirt, boots, belt, and vest. He wasn’t sure who had gotten the better from this deal.

“Ten seconds to go time,” Diona said, who was in full drag complete with a makeup goatee. She had been practicing her drunken swagger for the past few minutes and seemed really too pleased herself. Castus took a deep breath.

“Let’s do this.”

Diona flipped the switch, and there was a slight pop as the microphones on Castus’s ear and ukulele were turned on. (Duro had lots of unforeseen skills, including the ability to gather lots of microphones in a short time, secretly install speakers in the cafeteria, and apparently play the piccolo.) Agron and Chadara opened the double doors dramatically, and the dull roar of a crowded cafeteria poured out.

As soon as he began to play, however, the speakers amplified the sound loud enough for some people to fall silent and look around for the source. Castus swallowed nervously, scanned the tables to find Nasir, and started to sing.

_This water is too salty_

_For me to even drink_

_I'd rather walk the dreaded plank_

_Than stay another week_

 

He spotted Nasir just as his boyfriend turned around, curiously. He caught sight of Castus standing in the doorway, and froze in shock. Castus stepped forward so his backup singers could appear and join him as he sang the next few lines directly to Nasir.

 

_But it's you my love, you're my land ahoy_

_And I'm sick of being beaten_

_And whipped and lashed to death_

_I want one night with no beatings_

_But I won't hold my breath_

_But it's you my love, you're my land ahoy_

_Yeah, you're my boy_

First Auctus emerged from the other doors, then Saxa and Duro. The three of them seemed to be getting immense pleasure out of this, and as the music picked up, so did the crowd. People were laughing—good-naturedly, he hoped—and pulling out their cellphones to record him. Crixus and Barca were laughing their asses off, and someone had provided Pietros with a video camera, which probably wasn’t good.

 

His focus, though, was on Nasir. Nasir who was still looking at him as though he couldn’t believe his own eyes. Nasir whose lips were stretched in a wide smile, who seemed moments of way from bubbling into laughter. _Worth it_ , Castus thought, and shed the last of his dignity as the bouncy, fast-tempo chorus began.

 

_Yo Ho Sebastian_

_Let’s go far away_

_Somewhere, where the captain won't be mad_

 

Castus’s dance skills were limited, hindered as he was by his instrument, so he merely bounced as Chadara and Diona did a more elaborate routine they had come up with. It involved Agron standing with his arms folded and his deepest scowl on his face—though he winked at Nasir broadly once, and Nasir really did burst out laughing.

 

_Yo Ho Sebastian_

_I wanna love you good_

_And we deserve much better than we've had_

_They say they're gonna kill me_

_If I look at you once more_

_Pissed in my hammock yesterday_

_So I'll sleep on the floor_

 

Diona, Chadara, and Agron lightly grabbed hold of Castus’s arms and spun him around so he was no longer facing Nasir and then caught him as he fell backwards—that had _not_ been his idea—and half-carried him closer to Nasir. There were cheers in the crowd at that, and Castus struggled to keep his voice even as he sang, almost upside down, while laughing.

 

_I'd be under the sea, but you hold me above_

_And they put glass in my sandals_

_So my feet would bleed all day_

_And they forced me to wear them_

_Or they said they'd make you pay_

_I'd be under the sea, but you hold me above_

_Cause you're the man I love_

At that line, he could feel heat in his cheeks and was grateful that Nasir couldn’t see it. Neither one of them had mentioned the l-word yet. He had a feeling that the best time to say it was not in song, while dressed as a pirate, but Nasir didn’t seem to mind. He only returned Castus’s earnest gaze, and—yes, that was a blush on his face, too.

There wasn’t much time to consider it as the chorus came up on them again. Their friends took the cue to clear off the table and Castus sat on top of it, striking a pose as he continued to serenade Nasir. Other people were joining in on the song now, clapping out the beat or singing the “yo ho”s.

As the chorus ended, Castus set down the ukulele and took Nasir’s hands, spinning him away from the table in a simple dance. Nasir was in the center of a cleared-out circle in the cafeteria, and for the first time he looked a little bit embarrassed, but then Agron shoved Castus hard between the shoulder blades, and he led Nasir in a simple dance, just back and forth with a few spins here and there. His voice wobbled with laughter again; it was just exhilarating to be doing this, in front of the whole school, with his boyfriend _looking_ at him like he raised the sun and stars.

_The captain found out about us_

_And ordered them to throw_

_Us both overboard tonight_

_Together we will go_

_But I'm yours you know, and I'll love you still in hell_

_And I hope they didn't tie up_

_Your hands as tight as mine_

_I'll see you on the bed_

_Of this blue ocean babe sometime_

_But I'm yours you know, and I'll love you still in hell_

_And down we fell....and I'm singing_

 

The song ended with two rousing repetitions of the chorus; Castus’s voice was drowned out by those of the entire football team, and a good many bystanders, who roared along with the words, though in some places it sounded like loud mumbling as they stumbled over the lyrics. Finally Castus locked his hands around Nasir’s waist, and sang softly in his best crooning voice “ _We deserve much better than we’ve had…”_

“Wow,” Nasir said, his arms resting loosely on Castus’s shoulders. “That was…”

“Wait, wait.” He cleared his throat. “Nasir, will you go to the Under the Sea dance with me?”

Nasir laughed and kissed him on the cheek.

“I’d love to.”

There was a round of applause, and Castus bowed. Then he forced Diona to take off his mic, and blackmailed Duro into dealing with all the equipment, and settled down to have lunch with his boyfriend.

“But tell me,” Nasir said teasingly as they sat down. “Who is this Sebastian fellow?”

“My love, you have many wonderful traits, but a three-syllable name is not one of them. Don’t make me abandon my lyrical integrity for you.”

“I would never. That was… honestly one of the nicest things anyone’s ever done for me,” he said in a voice low with emotion.

“You deserve it,” Castus murmured, suddenly—after all that—feeling shy, and leaning down for a kiss that didn’t end until Naevia started throwing tater tots at him. “And good news,” he said, breathing just a little bit heavily. “I already have a suit that fits the theme.”

He spread his arms to show off his costume, and a mischievous light sparkled in Nasir’s eyes.

“No… I think _I’m_ going to have to go to the dance as a pirate. You obviously have to be the siren who seduced me with your enchanting voice.”

“Siren, huh?” Castus chuckled. “I could work with that. What, is that like a mermaid or something?”

“Ummmm, no. More like a sexy, half-human seagull. With a harp.”

He considered that for a moment, and sighed.

“I still think it’s a dumb theme.”

Nasir shrugged and leaned against his shoulder.

“I love it.”

Castus kissed the top of his head, and smiled to himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Gay Pirates, by Cosmo Jarvis


End file.
